Posted in March 2013

Why I’m internet dating (But don’t expect to find anyone cos there is something wrong with all of you)


So many self satisfied people have done it. ‘I met my baby Dave that way’ etc.

Urgh…didn’t realise you gave birth to your boyfriend.


‘Oh well me and the other half met on uniform dating. And he doesn’t even wear a uniform!’ *giggles whilst looking smug.*

Who even says other half anymore btw? Would you be legless without him?

What gives me comfort (when I think I’m single and may end up living alone amongst cats), is when they produce a picture of said person, and that person resembles a  potato, with a head the size of Texas.

So shallow, I hear you cry. Nope, just got standards. Or at least, I did.

These people, I hate to say it, all have the same thing In common;


So I guess what I’m saying is: I’ve become desperate.


A girl I used to work with, had a very pleasant boyfriend. Not much to look at, but a breathing human with a penis no less.  She adored him, And quite frankly he was punching above his weight. She suggested the words ‘marriage and babies’ and he said that he wasn’t ready. She dumped him like a hot potato, hitched on to and 6 months later was engaged. This was her ‘PLAN.’ I think she was ripe for the plucking. I actually think the particular man was irrelevant. A man, ANY man, would do. And interestingly, she had paid £25 a month for half a year just to find him. The magical ONE!

I must say I haven’t got to that stage (YET, HA) because I am still rather like Chandler from Friends, finding fault with them all. Me perusing the profiles: ‘Hmm, eyes too close together, only went to high school, tattoos, wrinkled lips, freaky nips, BIG HEAD BIG HEAD BIG HEAD.

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