Tom looked promptly sprung. I could see the whites of his eyes. Neil stood frozen to the spot. Eddie suddenly had nothing to offer – usually he would have had some comedy one liner to slice across the conversation. Not today.
It was the longest awkward silence any of us had ever experienced. Mariska continued to smirk at me whilst rubbing his shoulder with her talons. Finally Tom spoke.
‘We better go Maris as your parents are waiting. We’ll see you guys later.’
You coward, I thought.
They grabbed her bag and hurridly left. Tom didn’t even look back. Road runner would have been caught in their tracks. Meep.
I turned around and looked at the boys.
‘Who else is hungry?’ I asked, ‘Because I could eat a horse.’ I tried to force a smile. I had my hands on my hips and tried to look stoic.
‘You Ok?’ Offered Neil, almost apologetically.
‘Yeh, yeh I’m fine.’ I lied.
I was actually thinking; that bitch. This is all her. She’s brainwashed my friend. What does she want?
I suddenly had visions of pushing her down that cast iron staircase and then laughing at her twisted body at the bottom. We’ve all been there, right? Ally Mcbeal moments are ten a penny in my day.
‘Well, er, I could eat.’ Neil looked at me and smiled like he was in pain. I think it was a sympathy smile. Probably why he was in pain.
‘Yeh I’m starving.’ Piped up Eddie. ‘Let’s raid Tom’s cupboard!’ I got the feeling they weren’t as hungry as they protested but probably wanted to escape the atmosphere in that bedroom; it felt thick with emotion.
I followed the boys down the staircase whilst still seeing her smug expression slapping me in the face. I tried to ignore my heart pounding in my chest. It felt like a mini fist punching against my breast plate. I took a deep breath. It would all be fine, I reassured myself.
When we got to the kitchen we were a tad underwhelmed. It was so bare. We popped our heads in the larder. If tumbleweed had been around, it would have blown through this cupboard. A cockroach scuttled along a shelf, making tiny dust prints as it went. There was a tub of Corn Syrup with a large, flaky yellow label, peeling off its greasy exterior, next to two near empty cereal boxes and a tin of ‘chunky meat soup.’
‘Is that it?’ said Eddie, starting to laugh.
‘You know,’ said Neil, ‘I saw a nice little place down the road…..’
It was a stylish café situated on the corner of a typical New Jersey street-‘The armpit of America’- Or so I’d been told by one native. It was reminiscent of a Vetrriano painting; all angles and Noir, I felt trendy just entering. The front was mainly gleaming glass panels sweeping to the floor. An emblem of the sun was painted in bright orange on its shiny surface. The glass was ensconced around the corners, with beige brick.
‘Welcome to Café one.’ The waitress breezily drawled in her strong New York tones.
‘What would you folks like?’
‘Everything in here looks good.’ Eddie commented while drooling at the waitress. ‘Thanks for that Eddie,’ I cringed at him. ‘I’ll have the roasted vegetable and pesto pannini with Sprite, thanks.’
‘I’ll have meal no.5 please’
‘Yeh me too.’
‘Okay guys, It’ll be out shortly.’ She tucked her pad into her belt and smiled broadly at us before bouncing away with her chest heaving two minutes ahead of her.
Eddie turned to me, ‘She’s gorgeous.’
Neil rolled his eyes. ‘Does everything have to be about sex with you Eddie?’
‘Who said anything about sex?’ Eddie grinned at us. ‘I’m just thinking about what I’m gonna eat.’
‘I bet you are.’ I looked at Eddie and wondered how he did it. The carefree attitude to ..well.. everything. He was like a British Joey. Where there were women, Eddie wasn’t too far away – paying them compliments and it worked nearly every time. He had his fair share of stalker women at university – Eddie was a bit like a stallion that hadn’t been broken, or something. There was a girl who barely kissed him who then decided they should be together forever *whispered softly while her lips quivered with intent.* Scary huh?
‘But it’s Indian tradition.’ She had argued – explaining their common ground - when he resisted. ‘Yeh well I’m half Indian and I’m not religious and I don’t want to get married.’
‘But our lips touched. That’s sacred. We’ve shared something deep. You don’t kiss someone unless you feel that thing.’ Her eyes were like giant chocolate saucers, and they seemed to be getting larger by the minute. I think it was the only time I heard Eddie shriek – including the time he’d had an allergic reaction to an egg and had to be taken to hospital to have a shot in his bum.
In the end he did what all men do so skilfully.
He hid from her.
For a whole semester.
And every time I bumped into her I had to make up some lie.
‘Er..the flu! Terrible, snotting, flu. Yeh, awful. Poor Eddie.’
‘Oh – well tell him I say hi! I haven’t seen him in so long.’
‘Yep, will do.’ *ya crazy biatch*
None of these things bothered Eddie though. She was a distant memory (maybe not even a memory – maybe he had that other male superpower of erasing whole portions of their life?) and now he was salivating over the admittedly very busty waitress.
‘Jeez Eddie, we don’t want to know.’ Neil cracked up. ‘Anyway… who else thinks Mariska is crazy?’
‘Kind of a no brainer.’ I said, quietly.
‘She’s…something else, that’s for sure.’ Eddie was trying to be diplomatic.
‘I have to be honest - what on earth is Tom doing with her? I know he likes dominant women but she’s ridiculous. What’s with all the huffing and demanding and mini tantrums?’
‘Pff, good luck Tom is all I can say. I could not cope with a lifetime of that.’
‘Eddie you couldn’t cope with a lifetime of anyone. You’re not built that way!’ Neil scoffed.
‘Is it just me?’ I continued, ‘I think she’s so neurotic and OTT. I mean, what’s there to like? I just don’t get a very good feeling about her at all.’
‘Well, he loves her, so there’s nothing we can say.’ Eddie looked at me pointedly.
‘There’s nothing I would say.’ I replied, looking back at him.
‘Anyway this new book I’m reading,’ Neil piped up, sensing a potentially tense line of conversation, ‘is by the same author that wrote Fight Club, it’s about a model in a car accident’-
‘Okay guys, here are orders.’ The waitress’s timing was perfect; I feared Neil was about to launch into an essay and spoil yet another book that I wouldn’t be reading.
‘Enjoy your meals guys. If you need anything else just give me a holler.’ She placed down our steaming plates and smiled at us before trotting back to the kitchen. Eddie grinned back,
‘Ta love.’ He watched her as she sauntered off.
‘I’m just going to grab some salt.’ Eddie stood up purposefully and marched off.
‘Yeh cool.’ we mumbled. Eddie could have just announced that he was off to Mount Everest and we would have accepted it, whilst also wondering who Everest was and how she ended up with such a stupid name. Neil and I started on our food. In truth I was really hungry. We hadn’t eaten since the plane. I looked at my food- I could tell this was going to be good. These were the kind of sandwiches you could only dream about. The bread had a puffy crust that crackled between your teeth before you sunk into the whipped fluffy centre. The roasted vegetables were soft and caramelised and the hot flesh of the potato chips steamed on my tongue. We would be coming back again. Of course I couldn’t eat it all; the portions in America are probably double what they are here. Without hesitation the waitress wrapped it up for me and popped it in a jiffy bag.
‘I just can’t believe he’s marrying her.’ Neil mumbled between mouthfuls of bread and veg.
‘Oh, he’s not gonna marry her.’ I tried to sound confident. ‘It’s Tom! Come on. He’s just humouring her, he’s just being steamrolled. Maybe he’s too afraid to say no in case he kills her in his sleep?!’
I laughed, and realised it was a fake laugh. To be honest I wasn’t sure what was going on.
Eddie sauntered back with a huge Cheshire cat smile.
‘Where have you been?’ I asked.
‘Oh just to the toilet.’ He was still smiling. Maybe a hanger had landed in his mouth on the way to the loo? More likely it was a waitress though.
Neil and I looked at each other doubtfully.
‘I’ve never seen anyone so pleased to have visited the toilet,’ started Neil – ‘But as it’s you I’m not surprised at all. And we still don’t want to know.’ He smiled and Eddie laughed.
When we left the café it had begun to get dark. It was actually rather beautiful with the coloured houses and the trees all lined up. It looked like a street of giant sweets.
When we got back to the house Tom was waiting. Thankfully she was not.
Tom was sitting on the bed that was going to be mine for the duration. It was actually his bed. The sofa bed had been set up for the boys; something they were none too happy about at first.
Eddie and Neil disappeared downstairs.
‘So..er.. you wanna sit?’ having one of these chats was never Tom’s strong suit.
I sat down next to him. The bed was really soft and I sunk into the pillowy layers of mattress and duvet.
‘Ok, well, I’m sorry about that. I meant to tell you.’ He said the words so quietly I almost didn’t hear him.
‘But instead you waited until I got here.’
‘Well I really wanted you to come. You know how much I wanted to see you.’
He looked at me intently. I could almost see our shared history embossed in his pupils.
‘Tom, are you sure you want to do this? I mean, why don’t you wait a while. See what happens.’
He smiled at me.
‘And then what. What would happen?’ The words were loaded.
‘Well, I don’t know, but, you only just met her and I know you’re not going to rush into anything. It’s not like you. You think everything through.’ I touched his cheek affectionately and he suddenly went cold.
‘You know I want marriage Lana. I want a wife.’ His eyes, steely with purpose, were fixed on mine.
I suddenly had the urge to stand up. ‘Yes, but it’s not to be taken into lightly is it? You know, till death do us part etc. I mean, that means, you know, for life.’ I opened my mouth in mock terror. I laughed, trying to keep it all light, while hoping he would heed my advice. Just for a while. A couple of decades ideally. In reality I figured I had a year, what with all the planning, for the scales to fall from his eyes.
‘Look, just wait a while, that’s all I’m saying.’
He sighed.
‘We didn’t just invite you here for a trip.’ As soon as the words tumbled out of his mouth I started to feel nervous. He hung his head and looked to the floor.
‘We are getting married next….. week.’
I felt my stomach tip over on itself. It’s amazing how quickly your stomach can churn up a pit of swirling salty acid.
I looked at him incredulously. His eyes followed up to me.
‘Are you kidding?’
Silence. He looked at the floor again.
‘Are – are you being actually serious?’
‘I really wanted to see you-‘
‘So – you invited me to your wedding? Shit. Tom, seriously? Talk about blind sighting. Next week? You’re getting married. Next week. To her?’
‘Aren’t you happy for me? Isn’t that what you always say? That you want me to be happy?’
I didn’t answer.
‘She loves me.’
‘She’s obsessed with you. It’s not the fucking same.’
‘You don’t know her.’
Yes I did, she was a mental patient that had escaped, surely someone was looking for her, the FBI maybe?
‘She’s sweet.’ Fake.
‘She’s energetic.’ Psycho.
‘She’s so into me.’ Nympho.
I’m being harsh of course, but something about her didn’t sit right. She seemed unhinged to me. Tom was so straight and chilled, and she was so odd. It was the strangest pairing.
‘Look, I’m – you know.’ He looked at me with apologetic eyes. I detest that look in a man. It’s like a naughty puppy. It says ‘I know I’ve done something to upset you. Poor you.’
I knew where he could shove that look. But it was fine. I didn’t care. Deep breaths. I squeezed my fists together and felt my jaw tense.
‘Well, if that’s what you want to do. I just’ -
‘Lana. I am marrying her. I invited you because you’re one of my best friends. ‘
‘Yeh, I’m such a good friend you kept me completely out of the loop.’
We stood looking at each other, a stale mate. A totally appropriate description of us in that moment.
‘Do you really want to marry her?’ I softly asked him again. This time I felt my eyes watering involuntarily.
‘She loves me.’ He repeated.
‘Well…I’m guessing you obviously told her what happened?’
‘Actually,’ he went quiet. ‘She doesn’t know. I don’t want her to ever know. And I’d hope you wouldn’t either. ’ He looked at me with pleading eyes.
The ammunition to fire back had just been provided.
It was whether I could bring myself to use it, or even talk about it again.
